Vanessa Bolet MHRM
Learning and Development Manager, The Biltmore Hotel
Published Author, Social Skills: The Key to Success
Vanessa Bolet
Vanessa Bolet is a wonderful example of an empowered mom. She has raised two lovely children as a single mom and is highly devoted to her career and everyone who crosses her path. Bolet is the brilliant Learning and Development Director at the prestigious Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, and in an exclusive interview with Hola Latinos Magazine, she shares her beautiful and powerful story of helping empower others.
-Vanessa, tell us a little about your background and how you got started.
It all started with a little girl’s desire to help, inspire, motivate, and empower others to become the best version of themselves while growing up with the image of a strong and caring mother who lived her life being a true leader in her field and always showed me what it took to truly inspire others.
I am proud to be the Learning and Development Manager at The Iconic Biltmore Hotel. I started this journey a long time ago with the realization that my life calling was to inspire others to develop the best version of themselves. Of course, this journey started and continues with a never-ending process of self-improvement.
I am a published author specializing in International Protocol and Etiquette, Leadership, and Social Skills and multilaterally qualified as a Certified Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant and Life Coach. I hold a B.A. in Psychology from Florida International University, M.S. in Human Resource Management from Johnson and Wales University, and M.A. in Protocol, Ceremonial, Institutional Relations, and Event Planning from the well-known Escuela Internacional de Protocolo in Madrid, Spain. I have focused my career on training others with the necessary skills to grow personally, socially, and professionally. Having worked in adult and child counseling, teaching, and training development, I have seen firsthand how essential these skills are for children and adults. Acquiring and improving social skills can directly impact personal and professional development. It can help an individual improve self-esteem, develop healthy relationships, communicate effectively, and adapt to different situations. I bring together extensive knowledge in Psychology, Human Resources, International Protocol, and Etiquette, and I strive very hard to provide each person I train with the necessary leadership and social skills to feel confident and learn how to behave in every moment in this competitive, globalized, and diverse world.
I have been told I have a gift, the ability to connect, motivate, transmit safety and strength, and see the unlimited potential humans have. I am passionate about life, an endless learner, authentic, enthusiastic, intense, loyal, and reliable.
-What would you say has been the highlight of your career?
You might be expecting awards, and although the awards have filled me with pride and joy, it indeed has been every single individual «Thank you» I have gotten, that authentic look and smile after every session or training, a thank you that has followed follow with «I have never been with a person who inspires me like you» or «cares like you» or «You see me as so much more than a number», «You will be remembered», «You made a difference» or «This was life-changing» or even «Now I realize how important self-Improvement is,» «You have inspired me to care about making the best version of me»… many messages that I have received that I value immensely, messages that follow with a personal realization that I achieved my goal, to make a difference… That sense of authentic happiness comes from knowing that I have found my meaning and purpose and am living it, which is my biggest highlight.
I care. That is my most significant force and my greatest strength, not my knowledge or experience, but the simple fact that I really care. I’m the type that feels genuinely happy by expressing disinterested affection. It makes me feel alive, and it makes me think that if one day I am not next to this person or I am not in this world anymore, that person will know how much I care. This nourishes my mind and heart every day.
Some people associate a person who genuinely cares with being soft or weak, when having a caring personality is a super strength. We live in a world where people might mistakenly think hiding emotions or acting cold is how you can show «Power,» the mentality of «If I don’t care, I won’t get hurt.» Still, we are not considering a crucial aspect of human nature: when we don’t care, we deny an essential part of all humans. What is every single human’s most significant need? Human connection. Caring transforms a simple relationship into a strong and beautiful connection. The time I spend with a person, what I say, and how I make them feel might seem like a couple of minutes to me, but it might be a couple of minutes that this person will never forget. The essential part of «Caring for others» is to care for me first. Self-sacrifice must not be mistaken for Self-improvement. I have learned this through my personal development. It all starts with me. I must care for myself, develop myself, and give my best to others. It’s ok to set boundaries, be assertive, never base my self-worth on other people’s opinions, actions, or judgments, and never shut down that caring-affection side because If I care, I am happier, and I make others happy as well. One of the best feelings I have experienced is a genuine thank you from someone, and this is what I have gotten many times, just by genuinely caring.
-What is your mantra?
«The most important project I will have is me, the most valuable gift I can give is a self-improved version of me, and my most powerful strength is I genuinely care.»
-How do you empower other women around you?
The best way I have come to connect and empower is by showing my true self, by being authentic and genuinely showing my knowledge with that energy, intensity, and passion that people see in me, having a kind nature and constant good humor by making others laugh while always ultimately showing that I genuinely care about each one of them. But first, to be able to empower myself, I had to work on empowering myself, and for this, I have worked a lot and will continue to do so. I can say now that I feel comfortable in my skin, showing my true self, giving the best version of me, but always maintaining the humility and never to stop my self-improvement. Being genuine, honest, authentic, present, and real, is the most effective way to connect, inspire and empower many women around me.
By empowering women to show their authenticity, this is what I mean: How many things did you want to do but didn’t?… How many projects did you want to accomplish but quit?… How many words did you want to say but instead hid?… How many people never knew how you felt?… What you honestly thought?… If you look back on your life, I’m sure you will come up with a list…Out of fear and shame because of what others might think. After all, I think I might not be good enough because later, it might be worse. After all, it might be a bad idea because I might be rejected…And in the end, you don’t truly show yourself because of FEAR of being SEEN, and your desire to «Fit in» or «Be liked» ends up winning. The only way for someone to truly see you and truly value who you are is to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to BE YOU!
To every woman, including my daughter, I say: «Don’t betray yourself by putting on a mask because your true beauty is behind that mask, underneath all that exterior…Your essence, your light, and shadow…And the amazing part is, once you live your life without that mask, only then can you truly see others without their mask. Only when you take yours off can you see others as they truly are…If only we would all work on loving our essence and improving ourselves, we would have the confidence to show ourselves and give the best of us to the world. Only then, life stops being a masquerade, the dance ends, and authenticity begins.»
-What famous women inspire you?
Princess Diana. A strong, courageous princess.
I was one of those little girls who loved princesses. But I was also very headstrong and very much into empowerment. I have always looked for the perfect balance between etiquette and social-emotional skills. Princess Diana has always been an example to me. Considered the «People’s Princess,» She was an example of elegance and etiquette while having a warm, humble toughness. She dedicated her life to helping others while always being a wonderful mother.
As much as I always loved princess stories, I was lucky enough to have a princess of my own, my daughter Sarah and then a prince of my own, my son Christopher, who I have raised to understand and defend equality. After I had my daughter, I wrote these words so she would know what an actual princess should be:
«Sarah, when I was your age, I loved princess stories, I loved the prince, and I loved pink worlds; then I had you, and I enjoyed it even more because I had an actual princess at home. But I do need to tell you a few things about princesses and princes. Real princesses also know how to defend themselves, with or without a sword. They can fight dragons and significant obstacles that get in their way. Princesses can get everything they set their minds to without waiting for a prince to rescue them. You are enough and have everything you need to get where you want and reach all the goals you can imagine. You might need to help sometimes. You might even need to help someone be rescued. That person does not always appear on a beautiful white horse and will not only be defined by a suit but by how that person will make you feel: unique, respected, and valued. Real princesses also travel the world, live adventures, leave the palace and discover new places alone, sometimes without waiting for anyone to come first. A real person who loves you is the one who will be happy to see you enjoy, grow, learn, and discover. Ultimately, the only thing that makes a princess and prince different is the costume, and not even that, because the clothes you wear will never determine your worth, abilities, and who you are inside. Never forget that you are the only author of your story, and if you ever feel like people make you think otherwise, show them how wrong they are!
-Where would you like your career to be five years from now?
My number one passion since I was a little girl has been to inspire, empower and motivate, starting with my pride and joy: my kids; and every person I encounter through my journey. This is what I will keep striving for. This is my life calling today, in five years, and more.
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